It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
