i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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