Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
The ass gains better be worth it
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