Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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