scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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