Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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