i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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