just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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