It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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