had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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