His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize