so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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