after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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