felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
