Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Randomize