and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I did not marry a roomba.
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