im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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