my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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