how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
