He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
