evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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