the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
