I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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