i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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