Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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