got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
