12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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