i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he fucked my hip out of place.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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