Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
