Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
