if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
