Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
