You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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