can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
