Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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