somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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