That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize