i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
