apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
