I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
