the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
