"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
