Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
