where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
