where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
