just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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