Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
