u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
