all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
