well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No subtext here. People are naked.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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