She's JV to your varsity
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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