He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
