see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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