We won't sleep together?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
