listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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