i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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