i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
